Friday, February 27, 2009

Now is the Time for Courage

Today when I went to the mailbox I received this picture in the mail.



Along with the picture was a note that said if we did not cease and desist with our anti-celery activism, then the man in the picture would be forced to submit to further mistreatment involving celery.

The postmark of the letter is from Kalamazoo. (Does that surprise anyone??) I called up to the LSC chapter in Kalamazoo. Those kind folks are on the front line of our fight being right there in the hotbed of Michigan celery farming.

Apparently the sad soul in this picture is named Reggie. He was a local picket line organizer for that LSC chapter and was basically the guy who got permits for public gatherings, called everyone to tell them when to show up and sometimes would be a liaison between the LSC and members of police or local government.

Just for the record, our group, while highly active, is NON-MILITANT. We do not encourage or incite violence.

Anyway, back to poor Reggie. He was last seen heading over to McDonald's to pick up a burger after work. We're not even sure he made it to McDonald's.

Here is what the note says. (Any misspellings and grammar errors are just like they are in the note):


To Whom it May Concern (you know who you are!),

We have Reggie. Enclosed is a picture so u know we have him. Do not contact the police or FBI. What u see here is just a start of what we'll do to Reggie with celery. Believe me, we have LOTS of it.

If u want him back unharmed, u must forthwith disband you're stupid little celery club and crawl back into the hole u came out of. Or your mommy's basement which is prolly where u still live, LOOSER!

This Saturday get you're group of vegitists and go stand downtown in a picket line with big signs that say, "Celery is good for you!" and "We love celery!" and "Eat celery every day!" for three hours and if you do that wi'll release Reggie somewhere downtown and give him a cell phone so he can call and tell u where to pick him up.

Don't be idiotic. We will do what we say we will!



People, now is the time for courage. I know this is the ugly side of this business, but stand tall and proud. Let's not give in. Reggie wouldn't want us to give up so easily. Stay tuned for updates as I have them.

3 comments:

Jenn Thorson said...

I apologize if you've covered this before I started following the adventures in celery suppression, but I was wondering if you were aware of the art of Art Frahm, who was both pinup artist and Celery enthusiast? James Lileks' site has some wonderfully funny Frahm imagery you might enjoy-- http://www.lileks.com/institute/frahm/index.html

--if of course you weren't already knowledgeable of it.

Cheers.

Wendy said...

Hi Jenn! Welcome to the LSC! Yes, we are aware of the secret messages in Art Frahm's work. He was working to get the word about the dangers of celery way back before we could have our open meetings and whatnot. I did a post about him here:

Art Frahm, Pin-up Artist

I am delighted you stopped by!

Jenn Thorson said...

Wendy- I'm glad to know you were aware of Art. I just couldn't stand thinking there was the chance that you hadn't become acquainted with his work-- given the celery-centricism of it all. :)