Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day Massacre

I thought at this point in my career I would be pretty jaded to the horrors of celery consumption and other bizarre celery usages.

Today I feel shocked and dismayed like in the early years of my anti-celery crusade educational campaign. I ran across this post called "a bouquet for your Valentine" which is not a bouquet at all. It's some horrible sculpted corpses of celery amassed together with a fusion of red pepper mush. I'm calling it the Valentine's Day Massacre.

If you want to plan something wonderful for your Valentine, please don't do this. Unless, of course, it's your plan to ruin his or her night and break up with them in a cruel and horrific manner. If that's the case, go right ahead, but the League for the Suppression of Celery's Legal Department has to add the following disclaimer:
Any use or misuse of celery is not advocated by the League for the Suppression of Celery and, therefore, we are not liable for any injury or ill effects you may feel with regard to celery or celery-enhanced products.

Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day.


Melissa1143 said...

It would be the end of my husband if he made these celery flowery crap-things for my for Valentine's Day. It's called chocolate people!

Wendy said...

Melissa, you have the right idea.