I thought at this point in my career I would be pretty jaded to the horrors of celery consumption and other bizarre celery usages.
Today I feel shocked and dismayed like in the early years of my anti-celery
If you want to plan something wonderful for your Valentine, please don't do this. Unless, of course, it's your plan to ruin his or her night and break up with them in a cruel and horrific manner. If that's the case, go right ahead, but the League for the Suppression of Celery's Legal Department has to add the following disclaimer:
Any use or misuse of celery is not advocated by the League for the Suppression of Celery and, therefore, we are not liable for any injury or ill effects you may feel with regard to celery or celery-enhanced products.
Thank you and Happy Valentine's Day.