Monday, November 14, 2011

Latest Inductee: Dustin Keith

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to announce our latest inductee into the League for the Suppression of Celery. Please go to Dustin's web site and welcome him. Let's support our fellow comrades in the fight against the green scourge.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Nitrate-Free Hot Dog LIE

According to Consumer Reports, there are three brands of hot dogs we should be watching out for: Applegate Farms, Coleman Naturals and Whole Ranch.

These producers claim their products have "no added nitrates", but what they do have is an abundance of a natural source of nitrate... CELERY JUICE.

Celery juice and celery powders are nitrates and in large doses nitrates are bad for you.  So, don't think you're getting around nitrates by eating these other dogs.  In fact, avoid them because they use the WORST kind of nitrates -- celery-induced nitrates.


Friday, November 11, 2011

Sesame Street

I have mentioned frequently the subversive and dangerous influence of people who are in charge of television programming for children.

We have recently unearthed from a vault another example of the insideous and blatant brainwashing that has occurred over the years -- this one a notable and well-respected show:  Sesame Street.  We had an inside track on this. It was procured by an industry insider for us. Thank you, whistleblowers everywhere.

Before you watch this, please send the children out of the room.  And also have air sickness bags at the ready.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Latest Inductee: Greg Manzer

I would like to proudly present our latest inductee into the League for the Suppression of Celery: Greg Manzer, chef of Bonterra Trattoria in Calgary, Canada.

Not only does he hate celery, he claims that it will never, ever show up in his restaurant, so if you're ever in Calgary, you can consider Bonterra Trattoria a safe place to visit.

Check out the interview of Glen Manzer by Kim Gray for the Calgary Herald.