Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Boston Market Chicken Pot Pie

You might think I'm just a doomsayer. This post will prove to you that I'm absolutely not. I like to give credit where credit is due.

And today I would like to give credit to Boston Market for making a chicken pot pie that does not have celery in it.

I love chicken pot pie and always, always, always have to spend 15 minutes doing a search and destroy mission on all the tiny little pieces of celery that the communists put into the pie thinking nobody will ever notice. Well, I notice.

My delightful recent discovery is that Boston Market's pot pie (at least the chicken) is blissfully celery-free. I read the ingredients twice to be sure. I've had two of them with no sign of celery. There is only one location of concern where they list a generic "spices" which I suppose could have some celery-based spice included. However, I perceived no tell-tale celery taste to it whatsoever.

So, run out and support Boston Market for their celery-free product and tell all your celery hating friends.

And have a GREAT day!

(This was not a paid post and I did not get any free food for this review, although I wouldn't mind if Boston Market would show me some love and hire me as their celery-free promotion spokesperson! Or in lieu of a juicy spokesperson role, a case of celery-free pot pie would be okay, too.)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Celery Salt is Still Celery

Someone asked me the other day if it's okay to use celery salt.

No. It's definitely not okay.

Here is my general rule of thumb... if it has the word "celery" anywhere in it it's not okay. Not in the name, not in the ingredients, not even the color "celery". Some of it is wrong because celery is vile and dangerous. Some is wrong just out of sheer principle.

But we have to be STRONG, people. If we give on the moral grounds it's the first step sliding down that slippery slope and before long we're doing celery and green apple shooters with our friends down at the bar.

Better safe than sorry, I say. And I hope you'll agree.

[photo credit: mister bisson]

Friday, June 12, 2009

Celery Shooters

If you're sensing a theme lately, you are very astute. There must be a trend lately to promote celery as an upscale or trendy ingredient. Personally I blame it on the recession as celery is a relatively cheap vegetable. So here the evildoers are using the recession as yet another tool to work their vile destruction on people who are trying to watch their budgets.

In any case, the latest culinary horror I've run across are celery and green apple shots. I don't have to tell you what's wrong with this. You know. It's just wrong. It's an abomination of nature. If God wanted people to be doing celery and apple shots he would have made the two things grow from the same plant. Because he can. And yet he DIDN'T, so what does that tell you?

Seriously, people.

[photo credit: Alexandra Moss]

Saturday, June 6, 2009

California Celery

For those of you who are easily shocked or faint of heart, please go now. There is an epicurial abomination being passed around the countryside as "fancy eating". When I saw this I was so shocked to my very core that I had to go put a cold cloth on my face.

This dish called California Celery is a horrific mixture of celery gelatin, celery root puree, runny quail egg and truffles.

If you feel like you can handle the details, you can read more about it by following the link.

[photo credit: ulterior epicure]