Monday, July 27, 2009

Beware of New Zealand Celery

Studies have shown a problem with chemical residue in celery grown in New Zealand. Sources say that the celery has been approved for human consumption, yet there is some cause for concern in certain circles.

Oversight? Or... something more deeply sinister? Read this article, then you decide.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

New Member

Please welcome a new inductee to our group. She is becoming enlightened to the cause and is helping promote us and spread the word about the evils of celery.

Head over there now and give her a hearty celery-free welcome.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

ALERT: The Army is Amassing!

It has recently come to our attention that the pro-celery movement is amassing a huge army and doing a lot of celery PR. I am shocked at how blatant their activities are, as if they are just talking about something like curing cancer or raising toys for tots or other fine community building activities.

The article I'm about to show you is an example of how insidious their pro-celery activities are. The next thing you know they'll be serving celery in schools. (NEWS FLASH: My assistant editing this article pointed out to me that they are already serving celery in schools. TO OUR UNSUSPECTING CHILDREN! It's madness!)

So we have two boycott items: Wemerge Magazine and the American Celery Association

Spread the word... because these things might start jumping out at you from dark alleys and you need to know to protect yourself.