Duda Farm has apparently bioengineered celery to grow into a tube-shaped straw. It's not enough to have to suppress regular celery, but now to have to deal with bioengineered abominations such as CELERY STRAWS??
So, please, people... celery is still celery no matter what freakish shape it's grown in. Don't eat it. Don't suck Blood Mary drinks through it. You know they are just trying to fool you.
Give up, Duda Farms. We are on to you!
5 comments:
Okay, I actually sort of like celery myself, but the celery straw is going way to far. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to get my peanut butter in that? With some sort of a peanut butter syringe? Blech.
On a side note, I've been reading through some of your posts and it's crazy in a good way. I do a segment every Wednesday called WTF Wednesdays and I think some of this celery evilry would fit right in. If you ever want to do a a guest post to catch some cross-traffic then you've got an open invitation.
Keep the crunchy goodness...erm...badness coming. ;)
Jen
http://darkpassenger.today.com
Hey Jen! Boy are you brave coming in here and saying you "sort of like celery". I'm surprised you weren't jumped by some of the hardcore regulars. Where's our bouncer anyway?? :D
Thanks for your kind words. I'd love to guest post for you any time. I was just interviewed by The Snackhound although he's not posted the interview yet.
I'll email you and we'll talk more about it. I have to go find the bouncer now and have him frisk you to make sure you haven't brought any contraband in. Wait right here.
I know, I loooove celery soooo much. I love to put it in soups and chop it up in salads and even take a big bite . . .
Ooops - wrong blog!
*runs away while sliding on dark glasses*
Okay, I'm back. Wait a minute...! THIS IS NOT THE CELERY SOCIAL CLUB. How do these people keep getting in here?
*** NOW HIRING ***
The League for the Suppression of Celery seeks to hire one very large bouncer. Preferably male, intimidating, over 6'2". As our attorneys have just pointed out, we can't actually discriminate, I guess, so a woman would be great too if she is really big and maybe looks like a scary biker lesbian with a lot of tattoos and maybe one missing tooth. In the front.
Duties include encouraging blog participants to play in a cooperative and friendly manner. Celery subversives will be politely escorted out as they are delicate creatures who are easily confused about their surroundings. (Probably from a high level of toxin buildup.) Inquire with management.
(No benefits and actually no pay either but if you get the right accountant perhaps you could count up your time and use it as a tax deduction. Surely that's worth something. Plus we have a surplus of turnips and we can give you some of those. The greens are really good in soup.)
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