Saturday, May 30, 2009

Celery Diet

There is something going around the Internet called the "Celery Diet". Well, why don't we call this what it really is... the diet of death.

I don't know how got this started, but I strongly consider this an act of terrorism against heavyset Americans. Please, people, diet responsibly. If you have to do something extreme, for heaven's sake, do the cabbage soup diet or perhaps the infamous cardiac hospital diet.

Being thin is not worth the risk involved in this extreme and dangerous celery diet. Don't succumb to peer pressure. If you feel the need to do something risky, please call our hotline. Volunteers are standing by.

[photo credit: flitzy phoebie]


Amy said...

One more reason why celery is evil. I was trying to explain the evils of celery last weekend to people at a Memorial Day picnic. They didn't get sad. But I'll keep trying.

Maranatha said...

This blog is cracking me up. My husband & his brothers are avid celery haters. I myself have learned to gag down & tolerate its stringy bitterness, but only in extreme circumstances such as a need to please my mother-in-law (aka--prostituting myself for free babysitting services) or when subjecting myself to the low-carb lifestyle. Thankfully I have found success following weight watchers and eating carbs along the way, so I no longer find myself turning to the dark side. I do still eat it in my mother-in-law's chicken salad, though.

Wendy said...

Amy, you should have them read all the backposts so they will understand the treachery they are dealing with.

Maranatha, be very careful. I think your mother-in-law is One of Them.