Sunday, April 12, 2009

New Celery Bouncer

Some of you might recall a few weeks ago we had an unruly bunch of celery lovers come trolling in, knocking over a few chairs and trying to cause a general ruckus.

At the time, my response was to post a want-ad for a celery bouncer. I would like to say that we have finally reached a decision as to who the celery bouncer will be. It's Heather Cherry, a delightfully witty blogger who promises she is completely and utterly up to the task of keeping the place in order.

Heather was clearly the only most qualified candidate for this position. My only reservation in accepting her request for the position is that she looks very nice. I specifically stated in my ad that I was hoping for someone scary and intimidating, but she promised vehemently that she is up for the task. I have asked that she continue her gym membership as I see bulging biceps as a plus for this job. I also asked her if she could possibly take up chewing tobacco, but she declined that request. Fair enough, I suppose.

Anyway, please do wander over to Heather's blog to give her some love. Also, leave a nice comment here welcoming her to this perilous and thankless job of Celery Bouncer.


Heather Cherry said...

*takes up position outside League for Suppression of Celery headquarters*

*stands with arms crossed so as to show off newly beefed up biceps*

*makes menacing faces into pocket mirror*

*realizes pocket mirrors aren't very tough*

*goes home to google "how to be a tough bouncer"*

Ginny said...

I was going to mention some tasty things you can do with celery but now I am hiding.

Heather Cherry said...

That's right Ginny [said in threatening loud whisper a la Jack Bauer]... move along! Nothing to see here! OR eat here! Certainly not any celery. That's for sure!

Ginny said...

You've not seen the last of me!!
I will come back once I am done constructing my weapon of mass celery!

Amy said...

Welcome, HC! I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job keeping those celery lovers out of her.

BTW, I was flipping through the T.V. channels earlier and I saw Miley Cyrus eating celery on that silly "Hannah Montana" show. The show isn't just encouraging kids to have multiple identities anymore--it's encouraging the consumption of celery. Just unacceptable. I think we should boycott Miley Cyrus and the Hannah Montana empire.

Heather Cherry said...

Ginny: WMC's you say? Better not write a check you can't cash... or... something along those lines!

Amy: You're clearly clean. Come on in. *unhooks velvet rope* Wendy's waiting for you in the VIP room.

Wendy said...

Amy, yes, let's plan the boycott. I'll begin organizing.

Heather, you're doing a great job so far.

Ginny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ginny said...

The celery army is massing!

P.L. Frederick said...

Heather, do you receive an anti-celery salary? Because, you know, it rhymes.

P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)