An immediate intervention is required. This gentleman has apparently had some sort of toxic overdose of celery poisons and is immersed in mad ramblings.
We fear there may be something sinister afoot -- perhaps an angry roommate has tried to poison him or it's a misguided attempt at a healthier lifestyle during which he made the poor choice of introducing more celery into his diet. Perhaps a well-meaning vegetarian girlfriend who doesn't know any better.
In any case, please get over there immediately and help us talk him down. And whatever Chapter of the LSC covers his area, mobilize your intervention units and track down where he lives and send the hazmat team.
GO GO GO!