Celery Band

Boycott this band: Celery

In fact, let's make this a call to action. Go to their page right now and recommend that they cease and desist using the name "Celery" for their band.

What kind of silly name is that for a band anyway? How do they expect to command respect with a name like that? Are they using it because of the danger factor? Sorry, but celery is not "sexy danger" like skydiving or driving fast in a red car. No, it's the unsexy kind of danger like contracting leprosy or choking on a fish bone.

Go help them come up with a new name. If they want to stick with the veggie theme they could do something like... Svelte Aubergine or Turgid Carrot or The Incorrigible Cabbages or the Daring Daikons.

Way, way better! Go help them save themselves!

The Vegetable Orchestra

The Vegetable Orchestra, while interesting, fascinating and talented, are still abusers of that smelly salad vegetable we all love to hate. Celery bongos. Seriously.

On top of that, they use 155 pounds of vegetables per show that people in Africa could be eating. Except the celery.

If you want to see the Vegetable Orchestra, please call ahead and see if they are using the celery bongos in the show that night. If so, we at the LSC request that you boycott the show. If not, you can go as long as you donate a bag of rice or something to a starving foreign country. Or for that matter, a starving domestic country.