Celery Shooters

If you're sensing a theme lately, you are very astute. There must be a trend lately to promote celery as an upscale or trendy ingredient. Personally I blame it on the recession as celery is a relatively cheap vegetable. So here the evildoers are using the recession as yet another tool to work their vile destruction on people who are trying to watch their budgets.

In any case, the latest culinary horror I've run across are celery and green apple shots. I don't have to tell you what's wrong with this. You know. It's just wrong. It's an abomination of nature. If God wanted people to be doing celery and apple shots he would have made the two things grow from the same plant. Because he can. And yet he DIDN'T, so what does that tell you?

Seriously, people.

[photo credit: Alexandra Moss]

Our Boycott Was a Success!

Our super secret boycott was a success. We had a very super secret grassroots boycott of Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray Soda, a celery-flavored carbonated soda.

While we heap praises on Dr. Brown for his fabulous work in the area of very fine black cherry sodas, we can never forgive him for unleashing a beverage like Cel-Ray onto the unsuspecting world.

In addition, we feel that this type of marketing was irresponsibly geared toward small children who like to try new things, especially sugary sodas.

In any case, it's over now and I'd like to thank each and every one of you concerned citizens for doing your part to put down this menace.

Dr. Brown, next time you want to try a veggie flavored soda, we at the LSC will stand firmly behind any efforts you launch as long as it doesn't have celery as a flavor or ingredient.