Celery Car

A concerned citizen living in the northeastern part of the United States has brought the abomination to our attention:

We at the LSC have no idea what this is, but we can guarantee we have operatives checking into it.  Is it a child's toy?  Is it a horrific peanut butter delivery system?

Remember, it's insidious methods like this that people use to indoctrinate children into thinking celery is fun. CELERY IS NOT FUN.

Dangerous Strain of Celery

In the mid 80's scientists developed a new strain of celery that turned out to cause horrible reactions in the workers who had to pick it.

You can read more about it at New Scientist magazine.

Do you think you were harmfully affected by this plant in the 80's? Contact me about arranging a class action suit against celery growers.

There's another article about it here.

Photo credit: Stevie Lee

Celery Hotline

Dom over at Dom's Weird News is doing a great job spreading the news about celery, the dastardly salad vegetable.

Apparently it has been banned by a British football club and they have even gone so far to make it a CRIME to use celery under certain circumstances. We're making progress, people!

You can read all about it on Dom's article about the Celery Hotline.

Celery Seed Recall

Last month there was a recall of organic celery seeds.  You can get more information from the Reuters news story.

Unless of course, it's silenced by Those Who Would Have You Think Celery is Okay.

You know who I mean...

Also, don't forget -- celery seed is used as a seasoning in a lot of salad dressings and spice mixes. READ YOUR INGREDIENTS, PEOPLE.

Unless, of course, you have a death wish. But, really, if you're suicidal, salmonella is probably not the best way to go anyway. Just don't do it.  Don't.

Rescue this Dog

It's not humiliating enough to be an unwanted puppy trapped in doggy jail. But then to be further demoralized by being named CELERY after the devil's vegetable?

For God's sake, someone go rescue this puppy and change her name.

Latest Inductee: Dustin Keith

Ladies and Gentleman, I am proud to announce our latest inductee into the League for the Suppression of Celery. Please go to Dustin's web site and welcome him. Let's support our fellow comrades in the fight against the green scourge.

http://mediabreach.com/2011/11/14/monday-morning-dork-attack-celery/

The Nitrate-Free Hot Dog LIE

According to Consumer Reports, there are three brands of hot dogs we should be watching out for: Applegate Farms, Coleman Naturals and Whole Ranch.

These producers claim their products have "no added nitrates", but what they do have is an abundance of a natural source of nitrate... CELERY JUICE.

Celery juice and celery powders are nitrates and in large doses nitrates are bad for you.  So, don't think you're getting around nitrates by eating these other dogs.  In fact, avoid them because they use the WORST kind of nitrates -- celery-induced nitrates.

Source: http://www.seriouseats.com/2008/01/cooking-with-kids-nitratefree-hot-dogs.html