Boycott: Fenland Celery

We have spoken before of the detrimental agricultural downsides of celery production.

To exacerbate this, celery producers in England are making the matter worse by trying to romanticize and thereby revitalized the movement toward Fenland celery which takes even MORE square footage of land to produce than regular supermarket celery.

We vehemently protest the use of Earth's resources for this abomination and urge you to boycott Fendland celery.

Thank you.

The Great Royal Celery Conspiracy

Apparently, it's not enough that the English try to subjugate the entire world way back then and make us ruin our tea in the Boston Harbor and woo us with fancy weddings of the children and grandchildren of the Royal Family.

No, none of that is nearly subversive enough.

They have to take it one step further and offer Prince Charles's celery growing as a free tourist attraction where anyone, even children, could come across this public abomination.

Write the president, write your English ambassador. Tell them we will not tolerate this in-your-face behavior from a free world country.